You know, as an mcp I’ve always thought that men are superior in every other way compared to women. still, just to reassure that my beliefs are correct, I thought I’d do an ‘objective’ analysis in the form of a “gender battle”, by comparing and contrasting some of the common (read: STEREOTYPICAL) traits that each sex possess. finally, after a month long hiatus of doing nothing but accumulate enough information (and finding the time to actually type this entry) I was able to classify the male and female species’ gender traits in 10 different areas/categories. points will either be awarded or deducted depending on the advantages or disadvantages that each has over the opposite sex in each category, and at the end, the one w/ highest score wins and will be declared as the superior sex (duh). anyways, enough prattling from me and let the battle begin!!
ROUND 1 – PHYSICAL TRAITS
HIS SIDE
• men in general are stronger than women. you can never expect a woman to do heavy duty jobs like chopping trees, hauling stuff on the shoulders, let alone tasks like opening jars or bottle caps without flinching. yup, these are things a woman could only dream of doing (+ 10 pts.). • beefy/muscular traits are considered sexy to most women (+ 5 pts.). not to say that all men look (or should look) like a green version of Bruce Banner that is, but having muscles is always a plus for guys. • let’s face it, a guy w/ a bulging chest is definitely a sight for sore eyes. having manboobs is a complete disgrace for a man. you should hang yourself if you have these. (- 20 pts.) • contrary to what some women would want you to believe, most girls dig beards & ‘taches. it’s a lucky thing that guys can grow them and feel proud of ‘em. (+ 5 pts.) some say they make you sexier too… *decides not to shave for several weeks* • perhaps one the best things abt being a guy is that you can be a fat, balding loser and yet still have the opportunity to score w/ nice, slim & good-looking chicks. no, really. we don’t need to worry much abt our appearances because we could always bait women w/ our money, personality or our sense of humor, even if you look like a close relative of Jabba the Hutt(+ 20 pts.).
HER SIDE
• women are weak (- 10 pts.). then again, despite being utterly powerless in terms of brute strength, one would have to admit that women deserve a certain respect for being able to withstand the pains of pregnancy and childbirth (+ 10 pts.). • women + muscles = definitely a no-no. any female who looks like she’s on steroids is definitely a turn off for most of the male population (those who DO dig muscular women are usually freaks w/ bizarre fetishes). nope, women are definitely not supposed to have Popeye-like biceps. (- 5 pts.) • the female mammary glands are objects of aesthetic value that should be admired for its sheer beauty. being round and firm, they serve the purpose of nurturing the young, providing milk which contains all the necessary nutrients and vitamins for a healthy child. they also make great stress relievers for adult men who are in need of sth soft & supple to be squashed in their palms (+ 20 pts.). • unless you’re getting prepared for Halloween to dress up as Chewbacca or one of the hairy muppets from Sesame Street, beards & ‘taches don’t mix w/ chicks (- 5 pts.) • yes, (most) men are shallow. girls need to look at their best all the time esp if they want guys to check them out. some may have to resort to wearing push-up bras, wear scantily-cladded outfits or get surgery (silicone, nose job etc.) to make sure they have the sex appeal to draw a male crowd. seriously, if a girl is not appearance-conscious of herself (not wearing make-up, hairy eyebrows, unkempt dressing) she might end up being labeled Category F and be shunned forever by the male society. yup, having to worry abt how you look like all the time sure sucks. (- 20 pts.)
TOTAL SCORE: Men = 20 Women = -10
VERDICT: no doubt abt it, guys fare better in terms of Physical Traits. can’t blame much on women though. they’re born to be physically weak and if it isn’t because that we’re shallow-minded, they wouldn’t hafta think abt their appearance 24/7.
ROUND 2 – THE MENTAL ASPECTS
HIS SIDE
• most men are insensitive. the degree may vary for each person, but most of us really don’t care much abt our emotions. crying is for pussies anyways. that’s why we’re more likely to think with a clear head and not have petty feelings to cloud our judgments (+ 10 pts.). still, the lack of emotions can sometimes lead us into being blunt/rude/remorseless/cruel/selfish and every other negative trait known in the universe because we really just don’t care that much (- 5 pts.). oh well… • I know there are women out there would love to stone me to death for saying this, but I’m gonna say it anyways: GUYS ARE SMARTER THAN GIRLS. we may be lazier (- 5 pts.), but when you really think abt it, we also happen to be the greatest conniving politicians, conmen, swindlers, liars, frauds in the world. deceitful, calculating and manipulative…sure sounds like a sign of high intelligence to me. and let’s not forget, some of the greatest thinkers and scientists throughout history were men too (+ 20 pts.). if we were to rely on women for inventions and the improvement of civilization, we’d still be living in the Stone Age and still trying to learn how to build a fire. • we’re natural-born slobs. if it weren’t for our mothers/wives, we would prolly live in what could only be described as a pig’s sty. don’t believe me? just look at the rooms of the average college guy/bachelor. it looks like Hurricane Jeanne repeatedly crashed into it. we’re unorganized and broadly speaking, we really have serious hygiene problems (- 20 pts.). like it or not guys, we owe the girls a lot for keeping us in order. • we’re independent creatures alright. aside from the personal care problem mentioned above, we are capable of taking care of ourselves 99.9% of the times (+ 10 pts.). a proof is that parents have no worry abt letting us go out unattended because they know we can take care ourselves pretty well. • we’re cocky. we’re egoistic. we’re shameless (- 5 pts.). but at the same time we’re pretty much confident in whatever we do (+ 10 pts.). once we’ve set our minds to it, we can perform whatever we want without the slightest care in the world.
HER SIDE
• girls are emotionally fragile (- 5 pts.). anything remotely offensive could easily hurt their feelings. a joke could be taken seriously and deemed a personal attack and she’d usually respond by either being a super bitchy abt it or start whining and crying. talk abt having no sense of humor. geez, sometimes I seriously wish you girls would just shut up and suck it up. • though they may not be naturally as smart as men (- 5 pts.), women make up for it by being more hardworking in whatever they do. the result, most of them tend to perform better academically compared to us guys (+ 10 pts.). yes, it’s embarrassing to admit, but when it comes to book smarts (the one which involves schools and colleges), they’re definitely the winner there. • the female species has always been known as the more fussy, and finicky sex (- 10 pts.). they’re always complaining abt things which seem ‘out of place’ or ‘doesn’t look right’, and can be very irritable even when the problems are so small and obscure (a good example would be an individual who’s now residing in Tulip Tree 604. if you’re reading this…yes, I MEAN YOU). then again, despite being so picky abt a lot of things, the princesses of prissiness are also way more organized and definitely more hygienic in every single way than your average man (+ 30 pts.). yes, there are exceptional female slobs out there (as claimed by several witnesses at various residential schools, most notably TKC), but the numbers are ever so small, as the typical woman seems to appreciate stability, order and cleanliness more than us. kudos to you girls. • I suppose since the dawn of time women have always had a problem regarding their freedom to do anything they want. it’s already bad enough that they’re bound to the traditional beliefs, customs, ideas or social stereotypes (like the ones in this entry) which restrict and tell them what they can or can’t do (- 10 pts.), even worse is that they’re always considered preys for men who are ever-prepared to take advantage of them. rape, forced prostitution, sexual assault, sexual harassments…and the list goes on. the world is not exactly a safe place for women because they’re constantly in danger of these possible threats (- 20 pts.). and yet you girls wonder why your moms won’t let you go out at night by yourselves... • careless, reckless, and gullible (- 10 pts.)...need I say more? worse still, women can be very indecisive that making up their minds could take like a millennia (as witnessed when they’re shopping for clothes or shoes). I suspect that unlike us guys, women lack confidence when passing judgments. not to say they don’t have confidence at all, it’s just that women can be so ambivalent when they’re making decisions, even if it’s sth so insignificant like finding out which dress suits them better (- 10 pts.). just get the orange skirt and get it over with goddamnit…
TOTAL SCORE: Men = 15 Women = -30)
VERDICT: that’s 2 rounds for the men and still nothing for the women. yes, we’ve just uncovered some of the ugliest secrets regarding our own genders (men being smelly slime balls and women being mentally frail idiots who always seem to have a hard time making a decision) but there’s still more to come...
ROUND 3 – LOVE
HIS SIDE
• when it comes to love & relationships, it is almost always the guy who has to face the most risks. apart from having to protect our girlfriends from anything dangerous that could possibly harm them (it’s never the other way around), men are usually expected to make the 1st move during the initial stages of a relationship, facing the possible embarrassment from rejection (- 10 pts.). on the other hand, we also serve as the voice of reason in a relationship (+ 10 pts.), because we’re realists who are capable of guiding and comforting the weak-minded women to overcome their petty daily problems and whatnot. • in today’s age, love costs money. although not compulsory, it is usually the men who’re expected to fork out cash on dates (- 10 pts.), not to mention the unnecessary buying of gifts/chocolates/flowers on Valentine’s or any other stupid celebration that only women would care to remember (e.g. your relationship’s anniversary. trust me, unless you’re commemorating sth worthwhile like your wedding, any anniversaries is a complete waste of time & money). we’re also expected to be a ‘gentleman’ and treat women like queens (- 10 pts.), and yet we hardly get treated like kings from our girlfriends. is that a sign of double standard I see there? oh yeah it is... • you will notice from the very early stages of a romance blossoming that the man will spend less time will his other mates, focusing more on phone calls and meeting his significant other 24/7. soon, he’ll be busy w/ dates, buying gifts etc.etc. and some eventually end up being shunned by their other single buddies. I can understand that being in love requires commitment (yes; a taboo word that guys like myself pretty much like to avoid using or engage in) but sometimes I feel that the amount of time, money, and possible strained “male-bonding” w/ the fellas just because of one woman is just not worth it (- 10 pts.). • whenever a relationship ends, guys can be very pathetic from the outcome. they end up becoming bitter, angst men who are angry at females for apparent reason (- 10 pts.) and some even vow to lead a life free of women (what are you ppl looking at me for? I’m not bitter or angst goddamnit!!). yes, they’re sad indeed...
HER SIDE
• usually girls are the dreamers & romanticists in a relationship. they’re always fantasizing that their mundane/boring love-life turn out sth like in the movies or fairy-tales. not that it’s entirely a bad thing, but sometimes it distracts them from facing the facts that their relationship is common, and absolutely nothing is special abt them (- 5 pts.). everything that you’ve seen from Hollywood/Bollywood/a stupid tv show like Sex in the City (God, I hate Sarah Jessica Parker. I don’t care what you ppl think; she is fucking ugly and a whore) is utter BULLSHIT (yes w/ caps) so you should start accepting it and wake up from that ridiculous fantasies of yours. • being a girl is always a plus when you’re in a relationship. you could wish anything from you idiotic boyfriends and they’ll definitely get it for you. food, flowers, stupid soft toys...etc. etc. and no matter how much they might grumble abt it, in the end you will still get what you want (+ 20 pts.). • women are clingy creatures; they need their boyfriends to be around them like a blood-sucking flea that will never seem to go away. usually you would notice that it is the guy who has to sacrifice more of his time to be w/ her than the other way around (+ 10 pts.). they will demand your presence when they need it and are not ashamed to tell you to be on your way once they meet up w/ their girlfriends for some “sisterhood bonding” (a less extreme version of lesbianism. no, really). • while guys become bitter & angry men after break-ups, girls normally go into a slight depression (a slight conscious of guilt perhaps?). some might feel relieved that it was finally over (maybe because the guy was a jerk) but deep inside, they’re probably feeling sad & stupid for being in a relationship with the asshole in the first place (- 5 pts.). although the pain will never seem to go away, unlike guys, most girls can still look forward to having another relationship and perhaps mend their broken hearts in time with their newfound love (+ 10 pts.).
TOTAL SCORE: Men = -40 Women = 30
VERDICT: okay, okay...the girls won their 1st round. love sucks anyways...on w/ the next round…
ROUND 4 – THE WORKING WORLD
HIS SIDE
• being a guy means that the sky’s the limit. you can be whatever the hell you want (+ 20 pts.). a politician, police, cobbler, carpenter, plumber, a fireman (you know, I actually wanted to be a fireman until I realized they put out fires instead) and the list of options goes on and on…we now even have men who are professionally skilled in certain fields that were used to be thought as “a women’s-only field of expertise” (e.g. we have only the finest male chefs, home decorators and even metrosexual male hairdressers who are better than their female counterparts). yup, we’re definitely conquering the job market alright. • at work, it sucks being a man. unlike the girls, we have absolutely no legitimate excuse for fucking up on our jobs (- 10 pts.). other than that, you also have to worry that you don’t somehow end up offending your female co-worker by making a dumb blonde joke (- 10 pts.) even if it’s unintentional. oh well, I guess that makes up for the fact that we at least get paid higher wages than them (+ 20 pts.). • for men, having a profession is not an option, it’s a must. it doesn’t matter whether you’re married or in a relationship or not, guys have no choice but to find a job (- 10 pts.). being smarter (and devious) than women, it’s always possible for us to remain jobless and milk money from the opposite sex, but unless you want to be condemned by the rest of your male brethren (for being a parasitic wuss who is highly dependent on women), you need to go out there and earn a living for yourself/spouse/family. other than that, once you’ve landed your first job, guys are also expected to leave the house and take care of themselves (- 10 pts.). a man who continues to rely much on his parents after having a career is considered to have no sense of self respect. heck, even my dad told me right to my face that I have to get the hell out of the house once I’ve started working. talk abt tough love eh?
HER SIDE
• job options are still limited for women (- 10 pts.). sure, women today may have a diverse selection of careers compared to back then (we now even have female bus drivers in Bloomington) but they’re still being paid lower wages compared to us (- 10 pts.). and it doesn’t help that most men don’t take women seriously at the office too (- 5 pts.). I guess it’s just that hard for us to behave professionally in front of someone who has melons sticking out in front of her chest... • screwed up in a job assignment? blame it on PMS! it’s always a valid & acceptable excuse whenever a girl is feeling shitty/moody or just plainly inept at sth (+ 10 pts.). I mean how can a guy possibly argue with it? need extra holidays? get maternal leave (+ 5 pts.). I mean, who’s to know? someone making lewd jokes or winking at you at the office? file a sexual harassment lawsuit and BAM! instant wealth (+ 20 pts.). it’s a foolproof plan. seriously, what are the odds of man actually winning a sexual harassment case? why don’t you go for an extra mile and charge him w/ a rape attempt? more money I’d say. need a career boost? hey, it’s always possible for you to sleep your way up on the corporate ladder, am I not right? (+ 10 pts.). you girls are actually more powerful at the workplace than you realize. perhaps too powerful I should say... • while women are busy babbling abt achieving their dream careers, little do they realize that getting a job was never mandatory for them to begin with (+ 10 pts.). sure, you can go ahead and chase your childhood ambitions but nobody is forcing you to do so. it’s sth women do on their own free will. if you’re married for instance, it is not an obligation for you to provide for the family. of course there are cases where women are forced to work to help their husbands, but that’s very situational; depending whether your husband could afford to be the family’s sole breadwinner or not. furthermore, as an added benefit, parents don’t usually mind that women are still hanging around the house even when they have a career (+ 10 pts.). I guess they’re pretty much worried abt getting you girls married rather than kick you out of the house for leeching them off, despite already earning a salary of your own and having worked at your company for more than 5 years <--the average time a man needs to get ‘established’ before settling down.
TOTAL SCORE: Men = 0 Women = 40
VERDICT: a second victory for women. it’s obvious here that women have more advantages at the workplace, so why are they bitching abt inequality again? time for a commercial break before we go to the next round…
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ROUND 6 – SEX (since I wanted to make it to 10, I counted the ad as the 5th round)
HIS SIDE
• orgasms are easy to achieve (no kidding). just a couple of thrusts from our “scepter of passion” and we should be done (+ 10 pts.). on the other hand, the pleasure doesn’t last that long because it comes and goes too quickly (- 5 pts.). • virginity? what’s that? (+ 10 pts.). • condoms are overrated. a guy can have sex as much as he wants and not worry abt any negative repercussions (+ 10 pts.). sure, we might get forced into a marriage but there are always ways to get around that (heh, heh, heh).
HER SIDE
• moments of ecstasy are hard to attain (- 10 pts.) but at least girls can have multiple orgasms (+ 20 pts.). • popped your cherry? then you’re a SLUT (- 10 pts.). women have to undergo the misery of either being labeled a skanky tramp that men would love to fondle and have one night stands with, or remain the “pure souls” that most men would prefer to introduce to their mothers. it’s unfair, because being the former means you’ll be craved and yet be looked down upon at the same time, but if you play the little angel role, guys might think you’re way inexperienced, uncool or “not sporting enough”. either way, it’s a no-win situation for you girls. • a short equation to sum it up: guy + girl → a night of lust & desire = possible pregnancy (- 10 pts.).
TOTAL SCORE: Men = 25 Women = -10
VERDICT: a short, interesting round which signifies the comeback of the guys. will the girls hold out? or will they end up being conclusively proven as the more inferior species? we shall see…
ROUND 7 – MARRIAGE
HIS SIDE
• the common obstacles that guys have to go through to get married: getting a decent job, a car and a house to show your girlfriend you’re stable enough to be her man (- 5 pts.), making sure the relationship lasts until the wedding altar itself (- 5 pts.), facing and impressing your in-laws (- 10 pts.). sheesh, so much to lose, so little to gain... • when you’re married, your wife will magically solve all of your laundry, meal and every other household problems (+ 10 pts.). just don’t expect her to fix the lightbulbs, take out the trash or do the handyman’s work at the house any time soon (- 5 pts.). • generally speaking, men seem to have problems being faithful to their partners even after marriage (- 5 pts.). for the Muslims, we at least get the opportunity to practice polygamy (+ 5 pts.). but then again, one woman w/ her incessant nagging is already troubling enough, so why bother having four? (- 5 pts.).
HER SIDE
• so what do women have to go through to get hitched? almost NOTHING (+ 20 pts.). while men have to bust our asses impressing a lot of ppl and accumulating enough wealth for a hand in marriage, the typical woman today spends her time just lazing around, waiting for her prince charming to sweep her feet away and take her to her newfound palace. at most, she’ll be busy with the wedding ceremony’s plans and thinking which dress she should wear on the big day itself, but nothing too troubling other than that. • although women are not required to be the family’s provider (at least in most cases), whether they have a profession or not they’re still required to do the housework (- 10 pts.). so unless you know how to cook decent food, wash and iron the clothes and clean the house, you can kiss goodbye to ever seeing a wedding ring from your boyfriends. • while most would assume that women are more faithful to their spouses since they’re stuck being w/ only one man (unlike Muslim men who can marry up to 4), from a different perspective one can argue that there are cases of women who cheat on their husbands w/ the mailman/milkman/the vacuum salesman etc. etc. (-5 pts.). I guess, being alone at the house and then suddenly greeted by the supposedly macho-looking UPS dude w/ a matching brown shirt and shorts can lead to infidelity. but while men are held solely responsible for adultery, women who cheat on their husbands always seem to have some sort of excuse for their actions (e.g. “you didn’t give me enough love”, “you were never around to care for me” or “I was lonely, and the guy came...he flirted and I couldn’t resist”). no matter what the circumstances may be, the husband is still held accountable for his own wife’s whorish behavior. no, really. it’s true. so go ahead girls, go and cheat on your husbands because you can always make him take the blame (+ 10 pts.). very convenient isn’t it?
TOTAL SCORE: Men = -20 Women = 15
VERDICT: it was a tough battle, but in the end, it was the women who came out top. they seem to gain more benefits from a marriage compared to us. no wonder they’re so enthusiastic abt weddings...
ROUND 8 – COMMUNICATION
HIS SIDE
• talking w/ your mates is easy. unless it’s a well-aimed, sharp criticism intended to actually spark a rage, guys don’t need to bother about hurting a fellow buddy’s feelings during a conversation (+ 5 pts.). you can call him a mofo one minute and still hang out w/ him after that not feeling guilty at all (except maybe if he’s an overly-sensitive crybaby pussy, in which he needs to be kicked in the genitals repeatedly every time he feels offended when you call him sth vulgar). phone conversations are even more convenient because you could easily finish it in 3 minutes or less (+ 5 pts.). guys who engage in pointless chit-chatting w/ their buddies on the phone more than 5 minutes are just gay. • the male form of verbal communication is very simplistic indeed (+ 5 pts.). “yeah”, “hmmm” or “uhhh…whatever” are universally acceptable responses for almost everything in a conversation. ill intentions to deceive aside, most of the times men speak out their minds as is. no twists, no stupid bullshit deep underlying messages or secret codes that need to be deciphered. everything is straightforward. it’s no wonder why most men make better speakers than women. • it never fails to amuse me that men are ever impressive in their means of communication w/ members of the opposite sex. although they may deny it, women actually like our corny pick up lines. one would have to admit that we must be pretty amazing to come up w/ a lot of these cheesy/sappy/mawkishly-ridiculous verbal flirtations that girls love to hear. talk abt creativity eh? (+ 10 pts.).
HER SIDE
• women talk too much. not to say that being gabby is wrong, but there are times when one couldn’t help but yell “shut the hell up bitch!” to demand some peace and quiet from them (- 5 pts.). it’s not like anything women say are important or intelligent anyways. hell, if it weren’t for the bills, I wouldn’t be surprised that they’d hog the phone for days, only stopping for meals and maybe trips to the toilet. • never take what a woman says as is. it usually has some double meaning that most of us are not entirely aware of. for some reason, women have this penchant for talking things which should not be taken literally. don’t ask me why they have this tendency to mask what they truly feel/are thinking at the moment, but one thing for sure is that whenever you ask your girlfriend “what’s wrong?” and she replies “nothing”, you can bet your ass that something is indeed dead wrong. and yet they have the nerve to accuse us for not being understanding or never listening to what they say. all of these unnecessary twists and sugarcoated talking make women lousy communicators (- 10 pts.). • women don’t know how to flirt. hell, they can’t even make good jokes (- 5 pts.) the usual female attempts at being romantic/funny are horrible and unfunny. because they never say what they truly feel (at least most of the times), their hints usually confuse men because we can never tell whether they’re interested in us or not. I will admit I’m a very slow person (it took me 3 whole minutes and some shouting for me to realize that the girl standing next to me was actually talking to me) but I bet even the average guy will have a hard time guessing if the girl leaning on your shoulder is trying to be friendly (perhaps a bit “too friendly”) or happens to be just some lazy ass bitch who is sleepy and is ashamed to take a nap at a corner and let her drool soak some parts of the table. as for humor, I have yet to meet a girl who can actually come up w/ sth that actually cracks me up or at least doesn’t suck. in fact, I’m willing to bet my balls (I have two soft toy balls. what were you thinking?) that most jokes that women tell suck so bad, they’re like terrible blowjobs from a transvestite hooker.
TOTAL SCORE: Men = 25 Women = -20
VERDICT: women are imbeciles when it comes to communication. ‘nuff said.
ROUND 9 – MISC. (aka ‘the round with no name cause I’m out of ideas at the moment and I'm too lazy to classify it as anything’)
HIS SIDE
• shopping’s easy for men (+ 5 pts.). a trip to the grocery store never takes more than half an hour. unless absolute necessary (or if the shirt/jeans is just too cool-looking), most men buy clothes rarely. I guess this is because we tend to “recycle” our wardrobe (the typical bachelor wears the same shirt at least twice before washing it), hence the need for something new to wear arises only once in awhile (+ 5 pts.). we also don’t spend time on sth stupid like window shopping (+ 5 pts.). we either go to buy sth, or compare/survey the prices before coming back w/ enough money to buy it. oh, and let’s not forget that most men have good bargaining skills when it comes to buying stuff (this implying that either men are smart consumers or stingy bastards that are not willing to pay an extra 5 bucks than what he bargained for). in my family alone, I’m known as the one with superb haggling techniques only second to my old man (+ 5 pts.). • the average man knows not the meaning of the word “diet” or the term “healthy eating”. sure, some muscle-bound gym freaks out there are forever calculating the amount of carbs of the food they consume (as if it really matters), but we really don’t have to worry abt trivial things like becoming horizontally-challenged from eating too much. life’s short and you only get one chance, so might as well eat what you can, while you can (+ 5 pts.). then again, with all of that booze drinking, cigarette smoking and the lack of health consciousness compared to women, it’s also no wonder why we have a shorter life span compared to them (- 20 pts.). • everyone knows that men are better drivers than women (+ 5 pts.). a man on the wheels is someone who is to be feared and respected. then again, most car-related accidents are caused by men too. I guess our own confidence on the road is the very reason we’re like reckless speed demons very eager to go on the highway to hell (- 10 pts.). still, it’s always a plus if you’re a guy and if you happen to have a cool-looking car cause you can always become a chick magnet and attract them like flies drawn to a fresh pile of cow shit (+ 5 pts.).
HER SIDE
• when women go shopping, you can bet your ass it’s gonna take forever for to them to get it done with (- 5 pts.). given the time and opportunity, I bet they’d even scour the whole goddamn shopping mall if needs be. buying clothes is even a chore. the amount of money they have to spend on bras, panties, make up, pajamas, etc. etc. (- 5 pts.) makes me almost want to feel pity for them. • yeah, yeah...women are more health conscious, hence they live longer than us (+ 20 pts.). at least we don’t have to worry if we’re eating too much chocolate lest we lose that hard-earned coke-bottle figure which took so many years of dieting and exercising to get (- 5 pts.). • let’s be honest here; female drivers are an embarrassment to the very creation of automobiles (- 5 pts.). I dunno why, but the average woman’s driving skills tremendously suck. perhaps someday we’ll have a “female-friendly” car or sth and things might be different. Ford, Benz, Daimler and the rest must be shaking their heads in disappointment in their graves.
TOTAL SCORE: Men = 5 Women = 0
VERDICT: it was a very close fight, but a win's a win and we were the ones who emerged triumphant. the scores have been tallied and total victory seems imminent for men. but we still have 1 more round to go....
FINAL ROUND: CONTRIBUTION TO MANKIND
HIS SIDE
• All (if not most) of the greatest inventors, scientists (Edison, Eistein etc.) philosophers (Socrates, Descartes, Voltaire etc.), artists (Leonardo, Michaelangelo etc.) and leaders (Washington, Gandhi, Malcolm X etc.) throughout history were men (+ 50 pts.). at the same time, the worst criminals, psychos, murderers, dictators, tyrants (Count Vlad Tepes<--the real-life Dracula, Saddam Hussein, Hitler, Mussolini, Jack the Ripper etc.) of time were men too (- 50 pts.).
HER SIDE
• I gave a lot of thought abt this, so after a long session of debating w/ myself, I finally decided it was women’s ability to give birth. hey, anyone who can make sure the human race continues to exist deserves some credit no? (+ 50 pts.).
TOTAL SCORE: Men = 0 Women = 50
FINAL VERDICT: hmmm... lets see....when add up all the scores so far…the clear winner in this fight is...shit...*gasps* it’s the Women w/ a total score of 65 ( higher than Men by 35).......
no wait, this must be a mistake...this can’t be happening…*checks calculation again* ....argghh...oh well, I’ll just add another 100 pts. for men just because I can.... so...
FINAL SCORE: Men = 130 Women = 65
yes, it’s proven without a shadow of a doubt that men are the superior sex!!! wa ha ha ha ha!!!!!! I guess, even if the saying goes that “behind every great man is a great woman”, as far as I’m concerned, the man is still in front and the bitch is still behind, so screw women cause men rules!!! hahahahha….
yes, I know I’m being biased by making a lot of generalized assumptions and I’m well aware that not everything that I mentioned was entirely true, but who gives a shit anyways? anyone who takes another person’s stupid blog entry seriously should definitely get his/her head examined immediately or better yet, go and fornicate w/ a hot iron stick. I’m bored. now go away.
