Ever since I was a kid, I always loved Godzilla, the King of the Monsters. perhaps the granddaddy of all kaiju (Japanese for monsters/mystical beasts), the Big G has been stomping cities for decades since his debut in 1954. at approximately 50 meters(164 feet tall) and weighing around 30,000 tons, this gigantic dinosaur-like behemoth has spines sharper than the quills of a horny hedgehog on its back, not to mention an incredibly bad ass attitude to boot. I’m not even surprised if he eats babies and lepers for breakfast. he's so mean, he’d prolly punch women’s ovaries for no apparent reason. he’s also kinda territorial like your pet cat/dog, but instead of pissing away around to make his mark, he beats the shit out of other monsters invading his territory like no one else’s business before frying them with a cool-looking atomic breath to crisp.
"Godzilla squares off against his arch-nemesis, King Ghidorah"
I can’t remember how many Godzilla movies I’ve seen since I watched most of them back when I was five or four, but the most recent one has got to be Roland Emmerich’s bastardized version that was released in 1998. ohhh... that was just pure shit. in just 140 minutes, the glorious King of the Monsters I loved was reduced to a mere oversized house lizard with bad breath. sure it had CGI and a storyline that was supposedly better than its Japanese counterparts, but Emmerich’s rendition of the Big G totally tarnished Godzilla’s reputation as an incredible force of destruction. Toho (the company that made Big G) may not have cool CGI effects and had to resort to traditional rubber costumes in their Godzilla films, but they were fun! some might argue that the dialogues were cheesy and the storylines were downright outrageous, but who needs storylines anyways when you have several grown men in rubber costumes bashing each other in a miniaturized cardboard city? in a way, you could say that Godzilla films are like WWE shows. do you seriously think ppl watch RAW/Smack Down! for the storylines? there are times when you watch movies for the clever plots and witty dialogues, but then there are also times when you need to satisfy your crave for mindless, adrenaline-pumping, high-octane action, and that’s what Godzilla’s for.
some(if not most) ppl would think that Godzilla is no different than Ultraman or your regular Saturday morning super sentai heroes (e.g. Masked Rider Black, Gaban, Jet Man, Power Rangers etc.) but he’s not. to me, Godzilla has character. he’s like the ultimate personification of the most ruthless, baddest and toughest sonovabitch on the block. he doesn’t have any of petty moral reasoning like your average super hero. he’s an anti-hero, one who fights for no one but himself (even though he ends up saving the day). he doesn’t care if anybody calls him fat, a loser, a wannabe or an obnoxiously egoistic mcp, he just doesn’t give shit abt anyone or anything. he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants regardless of what ppl think of him. hmmm... in a way, you could say that he’s not like most stupid pussies in the world who can’t handle a bit of sharp criticism nowadays. they make me sick...
"this is what prolly would've happened if terrorists used Godzilla instead of airplanes for Sept. 11"
anyways it’s been awhile since I indulged myself with hardcore kaiju action. the last time I watched the Big G was the Tri-Star produced animated Godzilla series on HBO, which was based on the same theatrical flop they released. somewhat a direct sequel of Emmerich’s horrible movie, the cartoon show was actually great since the writers brought Godzilla back to his Japanese roots, with every episode involving the Kaiju King duking it out with some kind of mutated monster. too bad it was animated and not live-action like the originals. still... all of the kaiju action was there and Big G even had his trademark atomic breath and that was already enough for me. since my allowance is only abt a month away, maybe I’ll go and find some of the more memorable Godzilla movies for me to enjoy then. but for the time being, I think I’ll just stick with the polygon-rendered version of my fave kaiju in Destroy All Monsters Melee on the GameCube.
