'Tis been a long, busy and tiring week for me. lotsa things have happened, esp the ones that simply piss me off to the core. here’s a list of ‘em (in no particular order):
1) phone calls I hate ppl calling me. period. one of the reasons why I've never owned a cell phone in my whole life is because I couldn’t be bothered w/ ppl calling me esp while I’m either sleeping, studying, eating or taking a crap. I also don’t bother to waste my time to call ppl (hence why I only make calls back home once every 2 or 3 months) unless it’s sth really, REALLY important. if you wanna call me during the day, just make sure it’s brief and to the point. none of that nonsense talk like “how’re you feeling today?” or some shit. those kind of conversations should be reserved for the evening (since most ppl have better things to do than engage in phone conversations during the day) and even then, try to make it short. and then there are the telemarketers w/ their non-stop bullshit which always seem to tick me off. I don’t want any of your promotions or make donations you stupid fuck! just leave me alone goddammit!!
2) squashing my nuts I’ve been riding my bike to classes since last summer. despite being a convenient mode of transportation that can get me to almost anywhere, I hate the fact that I always end up slamming my balls on the seat every now and then. it hurts like hell. I’m just minding my own business, cycling around and suddenly...WHAM! I somehow got my gonads to become flat berries. trust me when I say that there are very few things in this world which is painful (and embarrassing at the same time) than stumbling down from your bike, clutching your groin and howling in agony while everyone looks on. I suspect that there’s sth wrong w/ the bike’s paddle or the gears. maybe the seat’s just too goddamn hard. then again, it could also be that I happen to have testicles the size of fresh, ripe grapefruits. in any case, if this trend of genital squashing continues, I may have to adopt children and end up as a freakin’ eunuch in the future.
3) letters from the Bursar the Bursar is shit. every time, it’s always a mail abt how my debt to the university has somehow magically increased. apparently, they always seem to have ideas what to charge you with. I was once charged 15 bucks for a stupid small-sized waste paper basket they had to replace since I didn’t bother to wash the old one after I left the dorms. fucking shit. 15 bucks?!?! that’s a rip-off!! and then there’s the monthly late fees for overdue payments...at the beginning of the semester, the balance in my account was only $20 but in the letter I recently received, I found out that I’m expected to clear a debt of $70+!! and I don’t even own a fucking car to pay for any parking fines!!! at the time of this writing, my scholarship allowance is abt 3 weeks away and I already have some payments due this April 10th. guess I’ll be getting another letter for the late fees then. bloody hell.
4) falling asleep while sitting I had several exams and a team project for my Technology class a few weeks back. with all of that cycling to classes and everywhere, and the constant Spring showers as of late, it’s only natural that I’m tired by the time I reach my apartment. nevertheless, I still force myself to study and finish my work despite the apparent weariness and fatigue. but the main problem is when I somehow end up dozing off while sitting and reading a book. when I finally I wake up, the blood flow in my legs are somewhat “cut off” (because of the irregular positioning while I was slumbering) and as I try to stand up- instant leprosy. okay, it’s not exactly like being a leper but still...it sure is damn pathetic when you can’t even stand up straight when you’re supposed to. it feels even worse when you know you can’t do much since you’re still groggy from sleep and you could only lie down on the floor for a few minutes until the blood flow becomes normal again. ah well...I’ll just hafta avoid studying or doing any work at all when I’m tired then....
5) junk mail the number of junk mails I receive on a daily basis ranges between 15-20+. usually it’s always the same “enlarge your penis” promotions, porn site ads and many other special offerings from various companies. the thing is, I’m already “well-endowed” and I have no need for porn sites when I have Kazaa. and then, there’s that lot of forwarded mails, some from ppl who I don’t even know. frankly speaking, I really hate it when ppl forward me mails. most of them contain those sappy and ultra-boring articles abt friendship and love. here’s an advice: I don’t read these kind of stuff. they’re useless and a waste of time SO STOP FORWARDING THEM TO ME. what pisses me off even more is when they send me those forwarded e-mails which tells you to forward it to others because it could either: a) save the life of some kid suffering from a debilitating disease or b) if you don’t, sth really bad happens to you. now first of all, I really don’t know how stupid a person could be to believe that forwarding e-mails could save lives. it’s all bullshit you gullible moron. secondly, I don’t believe in tarot cards, ouija boards, palm-reading or the daily horoscope. all of those fortune-telling shit is superstitious crap. I believe in God, and only God alone can determine whether sth terrible should happen to me or not. it really sickens me that some of these mails actually use Quranic verses in them to make their point. it is as if you’re committing a sin and a terrible fate awaits you if you don’t forward the mail like it tells you to. I may not exactly be someone with a deep understanding and firm grasp of Islamic knowledge, but I do know that to even think that sth else than God alone can predict your fate is already considered blasphemy. unless you have REALLY interesting e-mails to share w/ me, don’t bother forwarding them.
6) ppl who nag ppl who nag are annoying. back home, the only ones who are constantly nagging me are my elder sisters. it’s one thing to give advice or a smack in the face to teach a lesson, but when you go on and on, repeating the same things over and over again…I just can’t help but feel like gagging that person and then stabbing the eyes with a pen or mechanical pencil. even w/ the teachers back then, I really can’t stand it when they start a seemingly continuous, boring and long-winded speech which only ends abt an hour later. usually I’ll pretend to appear to be listening, with the occasional nods and “yeah...” and “uh-huh...” while my mind wanders off, thinking abt sth more interesting like how the hell do I beat that fucking huge cyborg boss at the end of the train stage in Contra Advance. sometimes I also try to find a way out like coming up w/ an excuse that I have another class, maybe another teacher wants to meet me or that I have to shit. perhaps it would’ve been better if I used that “hey look! it’s a three-headed monkey!!” trick from Monkey Island too. women are commonly associated w/ this habit of nagging ppl. sure, most of them might say that the reason they give these long, yawn-inducing lectures is because “they care”. but what I can’t seem to understand is why in the blue hell would they take abt half an hour long just to make a point? personally, anything like “hey fucktard, I’m concerned abt your safety so you better not be doing anything stupid” should be enough. brief and to the point. none of that time consuming and unnecessary yammering.
7) PDA ahhh...this is one thing I truly despise. no, I'm not talking abt personal digital assistants you moron. what I’m referring to is the incredibly disgusting phenomenon known as public display of affection. call me a conservative, close-minded man if you will, but I cannot tolerate couples showing to the whole world their fondness towards each other. you may argue that pda is a matter of preference and whether lovers decide to “display their love” is simply none of my business, but do understand that there are some things you do with your gf/bf that should be left to the confines of your private chambers. from what I’ve seen, most lovers like holding hands, cuddling and some girls even feed their boyfriends with their hands. okay fine, I may not like it (esp if they’re malays and more importantly, muslims) but I can still tolerate that, however when there’s necking and French-kissing...all in front of public places like shopping malls or train stations... what the fuck is wrong w/ you ppl? get a room goddammit!! we don’t need to see your horrendously nauseating tongue-to-tongue action!!! once, while our family was having lunch at Pizza Hut, there was this one Chinese couple making out in the restaurant with everyone looking on. what the hell?!?? so my old man just got up, went to their table and simply berated them for their “inappropriate behavior”. sheesh, how stupid are they anyway? making out, at a family-oriented fast food restaurant like Pizza Hut? in broad daylight??? fucking idiots. I also remember the day when I went to Seremban to get my SPM results. boarding the last commuter headed towards home, I saw this malay couple sitting at some corner kissing and caressing each other. just as the train was abt to leave, suddenly the conductor came and furiously scolded the two lovers, ending all of that intense, sexual tension altogether. he even threatened them to take a hike. heh, serves them right. women are notoriously known for this crime of demanding pda. they think that their boyfriends are obliged to show them how much they care regardless of the time and place they might be. stupid attention-seeking whores. and the men...they're nothing but sick perverted pricks no different than frotteurs just waiting for a chance to grab the asses of their incompetent chicks. seriously ppl, no matter how much you love your significant other, don’t be an imbecile and show it to the rest of the world. it may not matter to you, but there are ppl around you who are just plain appalled w/ your behavior. it’s fucking gross. the sight of seeing couples fondling each other in front of me is worse than having someone giving me multiple enemas using corrosive acid. some ppl are just so inconsiderate.....
"the best solution to deal w/ pda"
8) non-functional toilets just last week, after my Literature & Ideas class I had to go to the toilet to take a leak. as I opened the door to one of the stalls, I saw the toilet bowl was full of nutella-colored paper towels and the sign “do not flush paper towels” above. hmmm...let me get this straight...when you crap, you’re expected to wipe your shit-covered ass w/ paper towels and then you can’t even flush them?!? how stupid is that? I remember this horrible experience during our family trip to Kinabalu Park, Sabah many years ago. we had to stop by the town of Kota Belud for lunch for awhile and I went to the restaurant’s toilet to relieve myself. to my shock, what lies before me as I opened the door was a mini-sized version of Everest, made entirely out of Jack Daniel's cloudy-brown mass concoction. holy fuck!! what kind of asshole/s would do such a thing!?! later, I realized that the toilet itself was non-flushable so I guess that disturbing pile of shit was probably the result of various customers just shitting on top of each other’s crap. man... I feel like shoving a shotgun into the anus of that stupid owner and blasting him to smithereens. the whole thing was almost overflowing the toilet seat for God’s sake!! and then back in SDAR, there was this one time when some of the toilets had problems with the flushing pumps. imagine yourself minding your own goddamn business, taking a dump, then washing your ass and cleaning yourself...and as you flush the toilet, suddenly the water fills up the bowl, causing your pieces of shit to majestically rise from the depths like brown submarines from a scene in The Hunt for Red October. still buck naked, it was already too little too late when you realize that everything was already overflowing and you’re still in that stall. oh the sheer horror.
