There are times in life when you feel like everything seems so redundant, mundane, boring and predictable, you just wanna break out and escape from it all. the irony of it is that you’re supposed to be grateful that you currently have everything you could ever wish for, living comfortably and being able to do what others, more less-fortunate than you could only dream of. trapped in an endless nightmare called boredom, you struggle hard to claw yourself out of the gutter, wondering how the hell did you end up being caged by the very (so-called) “successful life” you built with your own shoulders. a glimpse into the eyes of your baby sibling, or maybe even those bratty kids playing in the playground behind your apartment, and you realize how much you envy them. such innocence and freedom. being able to enjoy the simplicity of life to its fullest. knowing what it really means to “feel good” about oneself and appreciate even the smallest of things life has to offer. and then suddenly, it finally struck you that I’ve just wasted a few precious minutes of your life by letting you read these incoherent ramblings I just pulled out of my ass.
congratulations. you are a retard. ____________________________________________________________________________
summer’s been the shiats. freaky thunderstorms at night, the sun roasting my skin during the day. hell, a few days back I saw a flying bird burst into flames before landing to the ground as KFC boneless chicken strips. must be a case of spontaneous combustion. the insane temperature seems to be driving some ppl crazy. migraines, headaches, fevers and heat-induced stress are not uncommon during these scorching times.
I don’t go out that much nowadays. I can’t even cycle around for a few mins without feeling like wanting to pass out from heat exhaustion. one time, because it was so fucking hot, I blindly ran as fast as I could into a supermarket and slammed my face into the automatic sliding door. I mean, holy fuck: who actually does that?
as always, I’m plagued by sheer boredom. maybe it’s because of the slow, monotonous pace of my everyday life. it’s like I already have nothing really interesting to look forward to. I’m so depressingly bored, I’ve begun looking for magical doors in my wardrobe, hoping that it will transport me to some fairy-tale land with witches, lions and goat-men. unfortunately, the only things I’ve found are pile of bones and several skeletons in my closet. I’ve also eaten a lot of chocolate to kill time, thinking that maybe I’d get a golden ticket that’ll win me a trip to some confectionary-laden factory staffed by cocoa-addicted singing midgets. so far, no luck with the tickets. boo.
I dunno, maybe it’s just that ppl constantly need to do sth that makes them feel good, at least to themselves. I remember seeing my paternal grandmother (my only surviving grandparent) do some needless gardening around her house back in Malacca. she’s already old and could’ve easily asked anyone else to do it for her, but I suppose all those planting and weeding gives her a sense of purpose and not feel utterly bored with the remaining days of her life. come to think of it, when I look at my old man and how he’s still pushing it, I can’t help but think that it probably runs in the family. at 64, it’s been almost 10 years since he retired from UKM and he’s still around giving lectures, writing papers, attending/hosting conferences here and there, traveling overseas w/ my mom doing research for god-knows-what. talk abt dedication.
I called him the other day and we had a nice, long conversation, trying to catch up on many things that have occurred since I left and whatnot. what really surprised me was when he told me of his intention to apply for a fellowship, preferably in the Netherlands, when his contract expires w/ UMS next March (no, he’s not being accompanied by a dwarf, an elf and a wizard to bring a ring to some volcano while being stalked by a deformed hobbit, you morons. check the definition for ‘fellowship’ here). just when you think he’d finally join the ranks of my other senior uncles or like most ppl’s dads, opening or investing in a business or two while relaxing all day long with a game of golf, he’s already made plans to sort of “prolong his career”. I tell ya, that crazy man....sometimes I really wonder what the hell is going on in that mind of his. I suppose it’s just sth that makes him feel good to say the least...
me? my idea of keeping meself occupied (esp. between classes) is to hit the arcades, either w/ a game of pinball or pumping lead into bears w/ Sammy’s Trophy Hunter: Bear & Moose. I dunno; there’s sth clearly exhilarating abt seeing giant walking carpets stand up w/ their hind legs behind shrubs and trees, raising a paw and growling menacingly at you before you respond back by blowing their brains to smithereens. it’s so refreshingly enjoyable to keep me amused, at least till I run out of quarters. besides, bears are gay anyways.
y’know, listening to my old man spew out his future plans to me made me wonder abt my own plans after graduation. hmmm....opening a burger stall by the roadside doesn’t seem too bad of an idea. that, or perhaps a job as a guard at TKC or some all-girls school. then again, w/ so many ppl already wanting me to go back so badly, maybe I should stay here and do sth worthless like drawing comics and write more shitty blog entries just out of spite.
"with less than 45 seconds on the clock and trailing behind by 8 pts, the Pistons decide to go for the offensive against the Spurs"
