Men are becoming more pussified. yes, that's right. I don't know why, but for some reason I believe that more and more males are already succumbing to this so-called “metrosexual revolution”. my roommate Ikram for instance, is already becoming a prissy pansy who wears soft-colored shirts and is getting into dancing and shit. next thing you know he'll be donning a cowboy hat and asking me to join for a road trip to Brokeback Mountain. fuck.
I've always thought that the line between masculinity and femininity was somewhat clear. but now everything's changed. guys are now wearing pink/pastel colors, being more attentive to their hygiene + appearance, and being more comfortable abt expressing their feelings, emotions and doing mushy shit of the like. it's fucking ridiculous. and what's even worse is that women seem to embrace this whole notion abt men becoming more effeminate. I mean, wtf!??! it's already bad enough that they can vote, and now they want us to become like them? are you even reading this shit?
"dude, what’s so wrong w/ men taking more care abt their personal hygiene & appearance? and why is it even a big deal if men started paying more attention towards their own sensitive side? just grow up already will ya".
no, just NO. men & women, have always been (and will always be) different. so deal w/ it dipshits. we have our penises, women have their breasts & vaginas. we play our video games, and women play their stupid bullshit mind games, and that's that. I like my knuckles hairy, growing beards, taking a shower whenever the hell I feel like it and being able to belch, fart and swear w/o the slightest shame. and I'll be damned if I’m gonna let some shitty, gay-ass cultural phenomenon (which is actually based on a shallow, exploitative consumerism effect), change the status quo.
now I bet most women think the whole idea of men being metrosexual is highly desirable because they can finally have "ideal partners" who share the same traits and interests as them. heh, they couldn't be any more wrong on that. according to his article Parental Androgyny, sociologist David Popenoe mentions abt studies concerning married couples in Switzerland who lead a lifestyle of equally-shared parental roles which (unsurprisingly) result in high divorce rates. and the probable explanations they came up w/ ? wives become less interested in their spouses because they're too much alike. yup, feminized men is definitely a no go. isn't it pretty obvious? how can a woman possibly remain romantically attracted to her man if he's more interested abt getting a manicure rather than bone her from behind in the kitchen while she makes his favorite sandwiches?
of course, it doesn’t really help when the line that separates the "manly man" from queers has really changed/evolved over the years so many times. hell I even read somewhere that back in the early 1900s, the color pink used to be associated w/ men (since baby boys were given pink colors to wear while baby girls wore blue). and then there's that whole other thing abt men having long hair and the blurry distinction between looking like a badass rock star and a fag. I myself used to have a mullet-ish hair (so did Solid Snake and MacGyver, so shut the hell up abt it already) and I unlike most of my buddies, I can actually cook (in my defense, it’s more of a means of survival rather than an actual interest. I'm lazy as hell and still prefer women to do the cooking for me). w/ all these complexities, it's pretty understandable that sometimes it can be confusing for guys to make sure they don’t end up “crossing the thin pink line” and become pussies. but then I thought to myself, why should guys even struggle w/ our own masculine identity? instead of trying to be a man, we should just start being a man.
one thing that I never understood abt metrosexuality is the need for men to even bother abt trivial things like having a fashion sense or being self-conscious abt appearance. I mean why bother being properly groomed when you can be all hairy and grow beards? beards are cool and manly and any woman who says otherwise don't know shit. just last weekend I went to the movies and saw the trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and it featured the movie's villain, the infamous Davy Jones sporting a beard of wriggling tentacles which I thought was infinitely awesome. the only way he could get any manlier than that is if those tentacles started raping japanese anime school girls. but I digress. the point is men already have their own distinctive look (i.e. looking rugged/mean + badass) and any attempts to deviate from the norm is gay and unacceptable.
Advertisement: the perfect product for the manly man
and then we have this whole issue abt sensitivity. now I admit that for the most part, I pretty much have total disregard for other ppl's feelings/emotions (or whatever the hell you call it. my brain farted, so sue me). for one, my idea of telling a girl she's fat in a very subtle manner is to wave a harpoon in front of her, mistaking her for a whale. to many, that may seem mean & cruel, but to me, it’s abt: a) being able to just say as it is w/o as much sugar-coated bullshit to get my point across and, b) if someone can’t take a joke, then I have intentions to be associated w/ that person whatsoever.
but what's really confusing is this vibe I always get from ppl I know who seem to be taken aback whenever I decide not to show up for farewells/departures. even back in high school, I decided to leave w/o telling anyone. no teary-eyed goodbyes, stupid, meaningless farewell speeches and the like. I mean, why should a man become sentimental for good byes all of a sudden? a real man should always take his leave quietly and by himself. no need to be emotional and shit. and esp NO hugging. I can't stress this more than enough. the day hasn't dawned when I'd be happy to hug another man, so stay the hell away from me. it's one of the reasons why I’ve adopted the “no hugging” policy, unless that is, you’re a decent-looking woman w/ considerably huge tits in which I wouldn't mind you squashing your mammaries against my hairy chest anytime (if you're flat-chested however, some padded bras may be required). hell I've never even hugged my old man, so what makes you think you’re special enough to get a snuggling from me esp if you’re not a woman? if you really must, a firm, friendly handshake or a simple tap on the shoulder is perfectly acceptable (note: any longer than 3 seconds however, will immediately be perceived as an invitation for anal sex).
but seriously, sensitive men are pathetic. no really. so some buddies gang up to make fun of you and you feel the need to threaten w/ violence, when at other times you’re constantly ridiculing others w/ no remorse. fucking hypocrite. "oooh, they hurt my feelings".
boo-hoo. cry me a river; then build a bridge to get over it.
it's guys like these that give men a bad name. the “manly man” is always indifferent at all times; never showing his feelings and emotions, except maybe anger. and even then, I've always thought a guy who cannot control his own temper, always resorting to aggression whenever he cannot retaliate (esp after being criticized) is a complete loser. a man in an emotional state is weak and very vulnerable. he is powerless, left open to be exploited, used and taken advantage of because he is blinded by his own rage, sadness or whatever. this is not to say that all guys should be like emotionless robots, but real men oughta know how to control themselves and put their rationale thinking above all else. that’s why real men should be hardasses all the time, adopting the “I really don’t give a fuck regardless of what you do to me” attitude. because when you’re fucking oblivious towards everything, ppl can bitch and moan all they want abt you and you could still be all like “uhh...yeah, whatever bitch. now go away and stop interrupting my nap”, which is amazingly sweet.
for instance, every once in awhile there’ll be some stupid girl who’ll threaten to stop talking to me or just plain out insult me because of sth I did/said. here’s a Newsflash: I DON’T CARE. no really, I don’t. what the dumb bitch 'doesn’t realize is that after all those years of being ostracized and mocked, I’ve become so desensitized, I willingly turned myself into a thick-skinned, remorseless monstrosity w/ no regards towards almost everyone whatsoever . I also have the memory span of a goldfish so unless you’re actually someone important to me, chances are I'm not even gonna remember you (let alone care whether you exist or not) in 5 years from now (sometimes even less). so do yourself a favor and stop making yourself look like a retard w/ those empty threats. in fact, I’m willing to go out on a limb to say that I’m literally so much of an insensitive prick, my wang could be smashed, pierced, burned, maimed and shot, and I still wouldn’t feel a thing.
...on second thought, scratch that last part. I just remembered that the other day I accidentally stabbed myself in the dick w/ a pencil in my left pocket while squatting to read graphic novels at Borders (yeah, it hurt). but you get my point regardless.
now occasionally, there are also idiot girls (and sometimes guys even) who question or simply make fun of my bet (to those who don’t know, I betted that I’d remain single till 28). and this is the kind of verbal shit I usually hear from them:
"what girl in her right mind would want you? it’s not like you’re some kind of irresistibly handsome, studly & rich guy” (note the emphasis on appearance & material wealth. and ppl say I'm shallow).
wow. just wow. the first thing that pops in my mind whenever I hear this (and I seem to hear it a lot nowadays) is that person, is a complete retard. first of all, these morons made a big mistake of being conceited enough to assume that I of all ppl, would actually care abt what they think. secondly, there are 3 important things you should know abt me:
1) I'm a very sexy man 2) I'm a very sexy man 3) If you're still reading this, I'm still a very sexy man
contrary to whatever shitty beliefs ppl may have abt me, I've had my own share being approached by girls who wanted my number and I didn’t even do shit except stand around like a stupid lamppost (for some reason, the girls thought I was “amusing” or sth. poor idiots). and once, a suspiciously gay salesman even tried to hit on me (yes, it’s not really sth to be proud of and the experience has indeed left me scarred for life but that's not the point). and even if I don't end up w/ a girl someday, I mean holy shit, who the hell cares? I certainly don't (cause I'm sure as hell I have what it takes to snag a woman or two) so please, STFU.
as for the bet itself, as amazingly stupid as it sounds, it's actually of high importance to me. it's really not abt the value of the wager or me actually wanting to remain single or some shit like that; it’s abt principles. a real man should be able to back his own words no matter how ridiculous it may be. I made a claim 6 yrs ago that I’d pull it off, so there’s really no turning back. I pledged myself that I’m gonna stick to my principles all the way, and by all means necessary. because ultimately, a man is defined by what he believes in. the source of his pride is the strong convictions in his own ideals, doing whatever it takes to defend them. if he cannot even uphold them, he's dishonored no one but himself and his existence is nothing short of meaningless. this... is what truly sets him apart from them...... actually, I have no idea where I'm going w/ this (my train of thought just exploded at the station), but I thought it sounded cool (like a clichéd dialogue coming out of a comic book or sth), so yeah...shut up and don't judge me...
I guess you could say that I'm a bitter man. I'm a bitter man who never shows his “softer side” to the rest of the world. like a turtle- no wait, more like...a hermit crab. yeah, a hermit crab... complete w/ crabby personality (pardon the pun) and a ‘security blanket’(or rather, a ‘security shell’) where I can hide from all of my fears and insecurities. but don’t be fooled: mess w/ me, and I will not hesitate to fucking gouge your eyeballs w/ my pincers.
okay, I'm just rambling shit outta my ass already. in case you haven't noticed, the previous paragraph was just an excuse to put up the illustration above. whatever. eat shit.
but really, I've always felt uncomfortable w/ the idea of expressing any form of sensitivity to anyone because I believe that a man should be emotionally independent, and as such, he doesn't need to show his feelings, let alone share them w/ anyone but himself (esp w/ his male buddies because there's nothing gayer than a couple of guys sitting around, exchanging secrets abt their feelings etc...well except maybe a couple of guys sitting around, looking at each other's dick, but that’s besides the point). a real man should be able to solve whatever personal problems/demons he has w/o any outside help; no need for shrinks, therapists, medication or whatever bullshit. at most, he'll need several hours of nap, a cool, evening walk by himself or simply play video games (King of Fighters + Street Fighter are great stress relievers).
of course, it might be a lil' bit complicated in the case of certain ppl that you really care abt, but even then, I don't think a man should freely show to the whole world whatever feelings he may have for some woman. it's really one of the reasons why I hate PDA (public display of affection) w/ a passion. to me, a moment w/ a loved one is very personal, and as such should never be viewed by others at all. the presence of an audience is like an intrusion to the intimacy, which is why any kind of sentimental shit should strictly be kept behind the closed doors of privacy. one time, I was unfortunate enough to witness a couple getting lovey-dovey in a “flirting session” that left me traumatized for years. the guy had like the most unbelievably corniest pick-up lines imaginable; it was one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen. never have I felt like wanting to kill myself so badly, I actually wanted to drink poison while telling a firing squad that all of their mothers are whores, simply to guarantee an end to the pain.
perhaps it’s just a trait I picked up from my old man. he's not exactly the kind of guy who is open abt his own feelings & emotions (I have yet to see him say ‘I love you’ or some other pansy phrase to me, my mom or my siblings) and from what I’ve been told, the only times he was known to have shed any tears was when one of my aunts passed away (due to cancer), while performing the Hajj and supposedly a few days after I left for the States. you definitely can't get any manlier than that.
on a not-so-related note, I want to brag that as of today, I'm officially 5 yrs away from winning my bet. yes, that's right you morons. need I remind you that your time's running out, so again, I strongly suggest that you ppl start saving your hard-earned cash because we all know there's no way in hell you assholes are gonna win. in fact, I'm so confident, I‘m actually gonna strut down to my victory dance (yes I have one. it consist of various poses from Power Rangers. shut up) and then yell "in your face!!" just to spite every single one of you who doubted me.
of course, 5 yrs is still a long way to go and anything could happen by then. will I end up crossing the line and turn metrosexual? will I have the heart to change and start caring and being sensitive to others (i.e. become pussified)? will the great imcp finally come out of his shell and profess his inner feelings to his one true love? heh. only when pigs could fly.
